The REAL Meaning Of "Invited To The Cookout" In African American Culture (2024)

Edited by Azizi Powell

This is Part I of a two part pancocojams series on the meaning in African American culture of the phrase "invited to the cookout" [or the BBQ] and disinvited to (or banned from) the cookout (or BBQ).

Part I provides definitions, comments, and article excerpts about the African American meaning of the phrase "invited to the cookout" (also given as invited to the BBQ" or disinvited to the cookout/BBQ".)

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African Americans may disagree whichnon-Black people have earned invitations to "the Cookout" (for that year).and which African Americans and/or other Black people have been dis-invited to the Cookout (for that year) and/or which African Americans and other Black people have been permanently banned from the Cookout.

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COMMENTS & ARTICLE EXCERPTS
(Numbers are added for referencing purposes only)

Excerpt #1
Fromhttps://knowyourmeme.com/memes/invited-to-the-cookout
added and updated by Matt, 2019

" 'Invited to the Cookout' is an expression used to describe [an informal social gathering attended by members of]* theAfrican American community, exclusively. However, the phrase is often [also] used todescribe [an African American informal social gathering that is also attended by]* an outsider who has shown themselves to be an ally of or friend toAfrican Americans. The phrase has also been used to [refer to informal social gatherings by African Americans which] exclude members [of the African American community] that have expressed opinions that are antithetical to the interests of thecommunity.
-snip-
Pancocojams Editor's Note: I added the words in brackets to enhance/correct the meaning of these statements.

[...]

Origin

While it's likely that the expression had been used offline,the phrase was first used on the internet on February 29th, 2019 [date correction2016]. That day, the hashtag #WhitePeopleInvitedToTheCookout trended. That day,Twitter[1] user @_BushidoB_ tweeted, "#WhitePeopleInvitedToTheCookoutLeonardo DiCaprio, Betty White, Justin Timberlake, Paul Wall, Steve Nash(feel free to add to the list)." The tweet received more than 800 likesand 500 retweets in three years (shown below)

Spread

That day, Twitter[2] user @MartelDHarris tweeted aphotograph of Adele and the caption "#WhitePeopleInvitedToTheCookout whenI saw Adele do her hand like this, I knew I could fix her a plate." Thetweet received more than 19,000 likes and 16,000 retweets in three years (shownbelow, left). Throughout the day, others shared versions of the meme (examplesbelow, center and right).

[...]

#WhitePeopleInvitedToTheCookout
None. Them and their dry assed potato salad can go back
where they came from"
1:00 am 29 Feb. 2016"...

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Excerpt #2
Fromhttps://www.huffpost.com/entry/invitations-to-the-cookout-have-now-been-rescinded_b_59e644e4e4b0e60c4aa365ad“Invitations To The Cookout Have Now Been Rescinded”
Our criteria for entry have just become more strict.

by Isis Miller , 10/17/2017; Updated Oct 24, 2017

“The cookout is a long-standing tradition in the AfricanAmerican community dating back to God knows when. It’s a non-holiday specific,(although they do often coincide with such holidays as Labor Day and MLK Day),where Black families and friends gather for barbecue, spades games withtrash-talking drunk uncles, aunty rivalries over who made the best dish, LutherVandross blasting on the radio, and carefree Blackness at its peak. It’s thesafety of belonging. It’s where you can let your guard down and simply bewithout having to swat at the incessant stings of microaggressions. It’s theplace where no code switching is necessary because it’s just you and yourtribe. It is being home in your skin with your kin.

But on occasion you will find that there is a white personat these gatherings. It is assumed that said white person is “down,” theprecursor to what we now call being “woke.” They have earned their invitationusually by having grown up with the family, dated someone in the family, orsimply having been around long enough to have been properly vetted. They knowthe etiquette and the rules. They don’t say the n-word, even when its part ofthe song. They don’t show up with some strange casserole. They bring a liquorof some sort (Hennessy being the obvious choice). And they certainly don’tinvite other white people. And if anything were to go down they know it would betheir duty to speak to the police, using their privilege for the good of thosewho lack it. They are simply happy to be there and we are happy to include themon the fun and maybe even send them home with a plate. These recipients of theillustrious cookout invite were the original allies.

These cookouts have, in popular culture, become synonymouswith our lives, our social justice movements, our sacred spaces, our places ofrespect. So when a white person puts aside prejudice, stands up against racism,and uses their whiteness for good, someone on Twitter will announce that theyare “invited to the cookout.” They can sit with us. They can join the spadesgame (as long as they don’t renege). They can electric slide their way into theinner circle of Blackness, status pending.

But that’s over. It’s cancelled.

And all because of this foolishness:

SwirlBae added three new photos October 10 at 7:10pm
“Get ‘Invited to the Cookout’!
Celebrate the allies, the partners, homies, and swirly plus-
ones in your life with a gift from the newest lines of inclusive
tees and hoodies from SwirlBae!

This is why we can’t have nice things.

The theoretical (and very much literal) cookouts we’ve beenhosting for generations, our sacred sites of unadulterated, live-out-loudBlackness are being threatened by the forces of gentrification. We are about tobecome a minority at our own events. Because just like every slogan, trend,movement and hashtag we create, it is then coopted, commodified, and watereddown until it is unrecognizable or unredeemable. Because it is never enough forwhite people to simply be happy as a spectator. They must own, take up space,profit from Black culture, Black creativity, Black genius. And even when theyserve up poor and borderline insulting imitations of us, they are given thecredit.

Yet, we as Black folks are partly to blame. This is whathappens when we hold White “allies” to the lowest possible standard of humandecency and start passing out invitations to the places in our movement, ourcommunity, and our lives without understanding that being an ally is notstatic, it is action. It not comfortable and it is not stagnant. It is puttingin the work to unlearn behaviors, while confronting those in your family andsocial circle about their own behaviors. It isn’t asking Black people to teachyou or offer suggestions, as there are already guidelines on how to do thiswork. But this is the outcome when white people are allowed to speak for uswithin our own movements. Its what happens when we allow this notion of“solidarity” and “unity” to lull us into a false sense of security in thinkingour interests and well being will be centered. Its what happens when whitemediocrity is rewarded and heaped with praise. The places that have long sincebeen for us become colonized.

[…]

Nope. I’m not here for it anymore. The cookout is gettingtoo damn crowded. The caucasity will reach new heights and next thing you knowthey are going to start bringing artisanal cheeses and unsweetened tea. Spadeswill be replaced with backgammon. The wobble will be replaced by the hockeypockey. Barry White will be replaced by Bruce Springsteen. Red Velvet cake willbe replaced with some dry ass bundt cake. This is not the world I want to livein.

Once again, it is time we reevaluate how we protect ourmagic and our spaces. … it is important to be ever more vigilant. So while I dobelieve that white allies exist and are necessary to the success of movementsfor social justice, it will take more than lip service and bomb ass potatosalad to get into the cookout.

And though I am guilty of inviting Colleen Dag (a.k.a “BeckyKnuckles”) over for a plate ― a decision by which I still stand ― untilstricter protocols are put in place, any and all invitations will be underfurther review.

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Excerpt #3
Fromhttps://www.theroot.com/white-folks-can-t-just-come-to-the-cookout-because-they-1792357577 "White Folks Can’t Just Come to the Cookout Because TheyPerform Blackness" byMichael Arceneaux,2/16/2017

"Whenever a white person does something remotely decentrelated to black people or black culture—be it displaying basic decency orperforming some act with competence—a chorus of Negroes will declare, “They cancome to the cookout!”

For our new white readers, “the cookout” is essentiallywhat most of us across these United States refer to as a barbecue, though thereare other culinary equivalences that amount to the same thing (black folksgathering for food, liquor and celebration as only we can): say, a crawfishboil, a fish fry or something similar. So, when someone of African lineageextends an invite to someone melanin-deficient to the metaphorical cookout,they’re more or less saying you’re cool enough to hang with us now.

[….]

Maybe living in Habanero Hitler’s America has me moreskeptical than ever, but I do know a lot of you beloved black people need toquit sipping pickle juice and calling it Champagne. Stop doing this cookoutthing for every sixth white person. Hell, not even all black people deserve tocome ’round us.

When they open the door for you, just say thank you. Ifthey have rhythm, cute for them. When they don’t shout a slur at you in anger,just thank Black Jesus that you don’t have to catch a case. When they call outracism, nod. It’s the least they could do. Don’t tell them to bring napkins tothe fake cookout.

2) Don't come empty-handed.

3) NOBODY gets a plate before Big Mamma.

4) DJ must dos --> "Before I Let Go" by Maze,"Love Like This" by Faith Evans, and "Summertime" by FreshPrince

5) Be prepared to Wobble.

6) Pros only at the spades table. This is for your ownprotection.

7) Don't go into the house unless you have to pee.

8) Don't expect for your chair to still be unoccupied whenyou return.

9) Only great aunts are allowed to f*ck with the potato saladso no need to keep asking if anyone knows who made it.

10) For you take homers: If they did not come, put in on thefood, or help in any way, they do NOT get a plate. PERIOD."

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REPLY

2. Jackeline Frost

"hulagirl67 as a black person I confirm this true"

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3. Zion, The Person

"As a fellow black person, I can also confirmthis."

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REPLY

4. Esohe Osaghae

"These should be official rules, number 4 is sotrue"

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REPLY

5. Eastside Sage

"💯% Accurate"

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REPLY

6. miggie2099